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You see, I like to daydream. Even though it is not the right time too. It also helps me go to sleep. I daydream every night, everyday, every hour I get the chance to. Day dream is what you do when you are thinking or imagining dialogue, actions, conversation or anything that you would like to happen or what you should’ve done earlier. At least that’s what I think.
When I was a kid, I dance for quiet awhile, though it didn’t last long. I made friends but also enemies. I didn’t know why I quit either. But as long as I could remember I made a hell ton of memories. Good ones.
My best friend who here I would call her May, she dance and she’s really good at it. She did ballet since she was a kid. About a year ago she started to try out hip hop, contemporary which alike ballet. She joined a new class that just opened a few miles from our house.
As I was also a dancer when I was a kid, well kind of. I looked into it. I asked questions about anything and everything I could asked of. Miss Q, front desk officer, was really nice fortunately. She’s really friendly, too friendly I might add. Since then, I joined the dance club once again. Nobody expected me to dance. Since everyone knew me the tomboyish kind of girl. Non-stylish. Self-absorbed. Funny Gal. They never thought I would mean what I said. They told me they didn’t take me seriously.
I planned to not tell anyone about me dancing. But May kept insisting me. She shared a video of me dancing publicly. Although she didn’t mention anything about me but you could clearly saw that it was me. Everyone was shocked.
But that’s not the point. The point is who I met that day.
Well if you didn’t know me, I’ll make it crystal clear.
I like older guys. Although older guys don’t like me. Because of my height and my sense of style, they thought of me as a guy. At least that was what he told me.
It was on Saturday. The day I went on my first class. I woke up early that day feeling anxious. I thought to myself that that day was the day you finally went back to dancing. I was so nervous that I could not even breathe normally. Thankfully I was an expert at faking or being calm.
I showered for about half an hour and started to dress up even though it was 7 in the morning. My class began at 2 P.M. That was how nervous I was.
My Mom woke up at 8 and made breakfast. She asked why I was up so early and I just shrugged. I could not just say that I was so goddamn excited and nervous, my mom would think it was stupid. So I didn’t say a thing. I ate and went back to my room. It was 9. I opened my wardrobe and started picking clothes that was appropriate to wear. It took me hours picking and trying it on. I was so frustrated that I laid on the floor with all the clothes beneath me. I heard shouting from downstairs, it was Dad, telling me that it was already at 10 A.M. I stood quickly and putting my jogger pants that was knee-high pants and a sweatshirt. It was so ugly. I ran downstairs finding my Dad already on his usual seat in front of the computer and Mom in her bedroom on her cellphone.
We were on schedule to visit our new home. As we arrived there, May and her Mom were already there. It took a few hours until we finished and finally we went to class. Well not exactly. We as in May and myself went to the mall near the class because it was not the time yet so we spent an hour walking around. Getting snacks and drinks. At that point I almost reached my breaking point, I was so weird and could not act normally. Occasionally I pardon myself to the restroom and sat on the toilet for a good five minutes. I took a few deep breaths in and out and when I finally calmed I went outside finding myself back at the restroom about 15 minutes later. I kind of exaggerated a bit but whatever. We sat on a sitting place and started to feel a bit dizzy but I thought it was just me but also May. She said she was sleepy and so was I. I thought I was gonna passed out but I didn’t.
The time finally came, 12.30 P.M. We walked slowly toward it. Every step I took, closer and closer, my heart beat rhythm matched my footstep. Faster and faster and faster. I kept on looking down as I reached my way there. May reached out her hand to grab the door handle and suddenly. Nothing. The door was locked. I was so relieved but then she said sometimes the front desk officer went out for lunch. So we sat in front of the door while waiting. Not long after that a female came closer, chatted with May and I assumed not the officer. May said she was a doctor or a doctor to be. I didn’t really know.
About 15 minutes of waiting finally the officer came from the east. Holding plastic bags on her hand and keys on the other hand. She smiled so big, raised her hand and swinging it to confirm that she had the keys. It was 12.45 P.M. Almost time. The place was quiet small.
As I entered, Miss Q gestured her hand telling us we could sit down. She sat down on the counter with her black long-sleeves and colorful hijab over her head. She said that class started in 30 minutes or less. I just made my way through the chair so I could sat down.
The place was kind of small but long like a rectangle. It had 3 floors and the first floor was a cafe. Well it looked like one but I never saw anyone drink or order anything.
I was on my phone while May and Miss Q talked. I was not a social person so I avoided pretty much every conversation.
It was almost 2 P.M, then I heard footsteps from the stairs and I saw the tall skinny man with grey long shirt and jogger. He was sweating and I guess that was because he was teaching another class.
He asked Miss Q if anyone was joining 2 P.M class and she said May and I would be joining and she told him specifically me would be joining that day. I didn’t really concentrate on what Miss Q said after that. All my focus was only to him. I didn’t know his name because he never mention it.
He opened his hand to shake and we did. His hand was a normal guy hand. Not so soft yet not too rough. He went back upstairs shortly after that and we went upstairs because there was nothing else to do and yet it almost time.
Despite all the dancing which I suck at, I enjoyed my time there. I was so nervous and new at that stuff, I focused on him not what he was teaching and instructed us to do. I was so embarrassed that I just sat on the corner watching everyone dancing.
My heart was beating at all time I was there. That day was a cardio dance and it really was tiring. My body was sore the next day.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Just the thought of him shivered me. I couldn’t get a word out when I was in front of him. I just smiled. He was being nice and all.
A few months I took his class. I never thought I would liked him. I only admired him at first. When my feeling was gone it would hit me right back every time I saw him again in person. It kept going for weeks. Until the last two weeks. The feelings wont went away. My stomach hurt and my heart beat hard. Not to mention his new hair and his cute glass plus his neat t-shirt. I just can’t.
This Wednesday, I went dancing but with another class, and not his class. He was on the front desk as the officer that day. He wore a black t-shirt and black pants. His hair was well-organized as if he was going to a party later. Didn’t forget his cute round glasses.
I couldn’t get over it. As I was walking towards the door, I heard him asked whether I would be coming to his class on Saturday. I answered, at least I thought he was talking to me. I turned around but I couldn’t see him because my friend was right behind me and blocked my view of him. So I continued walking to my car.
I am going to his class this Saturday. I hope I didn’t get butterflies but I kind of hope I do because that means I really like him.